I'm Back .. and So is My Father

Back late yesterday from the boys weekend at my friends cabin in Michigan. What happens at boys weekend stays at boys weekend, but given that the average age of our group is now 40.5, nothing really occurs that's not fit for these pages. Just some good old fashioned hanging among a group of great friends who because of age and geography unfortunately don't see nearly as much of one another as we'd all like. But alas, we all manage to clear this one weekend each year for a 72 hour group hang. Good times indeed.

Before I left I was talking to my father on the phone and he started to tell me about his recent trip to the urologist. I was doubled over with laughter (after, of course, he told me everything ultimately checked out ok) within 30 seconds of the story and I told him this he had to write on this for his next guest blog posting.

I sure hope no one finds this one offensive, and apologies in advance if you do. I recognize the *humor* might be somewhat lost on those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting my father, but if you know him, you can almost hear his voice in the following and it is just classic Gerald Solomon.

So, without further ado, I bring you this guest posting (oh, and if you do like it, please leave a comment so he doesn't badger me like he did after his last posting).

A VISIT TO THE UROLOGIST

Written by Gerald Solomon


The other day while taking a whiz I noticed that the fluid in the the urinal was not my customary pale yellow (like the maize in maize and blue) but rather more like pink.A second pee a few hours later was more like crimson (but I,m no buckeye). Having heard what this could mean I immediately pulled the panic button. I jumped in my car and raced to my doctors office. I called him from his waiting room and when he asked when I could come in I told him I was already in and had my zipper down and ready to go . He reluctantly agreed to see me then even though he was examining his last patient of the day. That patient happened to be my urologist.

The next step was an appointment with the urologist. As a favor he sqeezed me in at 7:30 am a few days later. I got there at 7:05 and the place was already jumping with patients. Allover the office were pamphlets my doc had written.Sexual Disfunction, Urinary Disfunction,Prostate Disfunction,and aTime magazine. Anyway a sonogram showed something that looked like it might be a stone so off to the radiologist for pictures of my insides.Tests were negative but the doc wanted me to come in for I more test.

So I arrive for this appointment this time in the afternoon. It must have been “old timers day”.Canes walkers,men so bent over they were face to face with their crotches,Finally they put me in the room where they perform cystascopies. Whoa I say to the nurse who wants to prep me , No one is sticking anything up my penis de milo just like that. This procedure has been a nightmare to me since I first heard about it 40 years ago. She brings in the doc. who tells me this test is a must for anyone with my initial symptom (blood),Well what are you going to say to that. I lie down on the table,the nurse puts a metal clothspin on my pdm,presumably so he won,t jump off the table, and puts some anethstetic on it too. The procedure is not half bad. You get to see for the first time your own uretha,prostate, sphincter,bladder,kidney and then it is over. No problems I,m happy to report.I ask the doc how soon I can have sex again. He says tonight. Great , please call my wife and make arrangements. He says” I have my own problems in that area’ .