The Big D

Well, might as well get this topic out in the open. Mom, if you're reading, you might want to sit this one out. You too Gerry for that matter.

Someone recently asked me -- actually, they didn't really ask, given the sensitive nature of the topic (note: I've talked to other survivors and it's been noted that this is the one subject people are *really* hesistant to bring up/discuss), but rather kind of tap danced around the topic of whether I was concerned about dying.

So, the short answer, is yes, of course. I mean, who the hell ISN'T afraid of dying? Yet while I probably give this subject more thought than most of you the truth is it's not something I really dwell upon, for two reasons: one, I am still putting a lot of faith in my odds (emphasis on a LOT), and two, what's the use in worrying about something that you can't really control? So, it's not something I obsess over nor is it a subject that keeps me up at night.

I will say this though: I used to believe that I'd go out like my grandfather: 99 in Vegas with my best friend. This is a true story by the way. I have tremendous longevity (on my fathers side of the family, at least) and I genuinely thought I'd live to a ripe old age. Given the events of the past 12+ months, however, I am starting to feel like this whole situation has/will take years off my life. That is something I am definitely trying to reconcile in my head.

Anyway, the other part of it is I really don't have the time to die: I am simply far too busy. I have work, the kids, April, a few races to do, etc. etc. Dying just doesn't work into my schedule.

Joking aside, another thing that I have given fairly serious thought to is a list of things I want to do/accomplish in life. Here's a sampling, and note that I am being purely selfish here: I've taken out some of the more obvious (see the kids get married, be a grandfather, celebrate my 60th anniversary) and mundane (work and otherwise related, although I hasten to add that I certainly do have work-related goals as well).

That said, here goes my "top ten" list of things to do before I kick the bucket, in no particular order:

1. FInish a 100 mile run, preferably standing and in one piece
2. Finish Ironman Hawaii in less than 12 hours (by the way, I have a doozy of a post on this subject which I will save for next week)
3. Shoot a perfect barrel surfing and hold it for at least five seconds
4. Hike Machu Piccu with April
5. Complete my goal of setting foot in every country in Central America (next up: Nicarague or Panama; anyone interested in joining me?)
6. Finally freaking qualify for the Boston Marathon
7. Swim alcatraz to shore, while simultaneously avoiding getting eaten by (great) whitey
8. Knock off a 14,000 footer. On the same subject, climb Kilimanjaro
9. Learn how to do at least one of the following: grow a kick ass vegetable garden, learn how to fix *anything* around my house
10. Pick up at least one really interesting new hobby (wine is currently the leading candidate)
11. Make sure I see my main boys at *least* once a year

(Yeah, I know, that was eleven, not 10, but what the hell).

Believe it or not, I recently knocked off (or, at least, have began to knock off) one other item on this list: start and maintain a *quasi* interesting blog, (which, by the way, I hope is what I've started. I certainly defer to all of you as to whether this is actually of any interest)!

Anyway, that's my list, which I still consider a work in development.

So, that's my take on death, and that's my list.

What's on yours?