Thank You, Howard Stern

Let me begin this post by stating this clearly: I am an unabashed and unapologetic Howard Stern fan.

It's kind of astonishing, but I just did the math and realized that I've been listening to Howard for more than 25 years. I recall like it was yesterday leaving high school early (get over it dad, I somehow ended up getting into Michigan regardless) with my friend Jeff and driving around Paramus for hours listening to a young Howard, who at the time was on WNEW, airing in the afternoon. I also recall meeting my boy Scooter, one of my my closest friends, the first day we arrived at Michigan. Our first conversation: Howard.

Upon moving to Manhattan, and after that, Chicago, I started listening to Howard less and less, for no other reason than I was generally travelling to work via the subway, and my commutes weren't really long enough to dedicate the time to listen. Plus, I was underground a majority of my commute time. So, I dropped off for a while, though I'd tune in to the show on occasion, would catch his performances on Letterman, saw Private Parts in the theater, etc. etc.

And then I moved to California and for the first time in my career had a car commute to the City. And I quickly fell back in with the Stern Show. It was like reuniting with an old-time best friend from grade school; it seemed as if there was virtually no passage in time. Sure there were new characters like Artie, Richard and Sal, and some old ones like Jackie had departed, but the essence of the show remained the same. Only problem was that by the time I started listening, Howard was already on his countdown to satellite radio.

Once Howard left terrestrial radio, I was deeply hooked and I bought Sirius immediately (for both myself and April. She's hooked too). And shortly after he went on Sirius, I received my cancer diagnosis.

Let me pause for a moment to address you anti-Stern fans, because I'm sure you are out there and if you are, I'm certain you have an opinion. You're probably reading this incredulously.

For the record: I recognize that the show can be juvenile. I'm fully aware that at times it borders on inane. Much of the cursing and sex stuff is way over the top. I never listen when the kids are in the car. And there are certain elements to the show that I dislike. There's even been a few rare moments when I've switched to another channel.

All that being said, and at the risk of sounding overdramatic and cliche, as much as I like the Howard Stern Show, I feel like it's really been a gift in my life the past year and for one very simple reason: he's made me laugh when I've *really* needed a pick me up.

I lwas listening to Howard when my doctor called with my diagnosis; I continued to listen after I hung up the phone. I listened to Howard driving with Dave and Steve-O to the hospital for my surgery (Dennis Rodman was the guest) and I listened to him on the way home (I was still in a drug induced fog, but I want to say it was Jenna Jameson. Might be wishful thinking on my part though). I listened and watched (via Howard TV) when I was cooped up in isolation for four straight days and believe me, it greatly helped pass the time. I listened to him on my way to my scans and I listened to him both to and from my bad news birthday.

And regardless of the tenuous, nerve racking circumstances described above, one thing in my life has been consistent this past year: the Howard Stern Show has never failed to make me laugh.

Trust me, you quickly come to understand the value of a good belly laugh when you are on the way home from learning that your cancer is persistent. It takes on an entirely different meaning. And for that, I am greatly indebted to Howard Stern.

So -- thank you Howard, Robin, Fred, Artie, Richard, Sal, Benji, Ba Ba Booey, Jon Hein and the rest of the team. Thank you Eric the Midget, High Pitch Eric, Chevonne the Transseual, Elegant Elliot Offen, Gary the Retard, Wendy the Retard, and of course .. the inimitable, the one, the only -- Beetlejuice.

Thank you for providing me a small measure of solace and entertainment during some pretty dark periods of my life. Your peculiar brand of medicine was far better than anything my doctors ordered.

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Just finished watching AI. I nailed that one. Too bad for Melinda; she rocked it last night. But, as I predicted, I think her lack of charsima vis a vis the other two did her in in the end. I'm personally pulling for Blake but stand by my Jordin prediction.