Live Blog: Grammy Freak Fest

I've just started watching the Grammy's and already it is a full on freakfest. Most bizarre moment thus far, which I am sure will be beat in the next five minutes: The Time reunion (!) with Rihanna singing Umbrella. Can someone please tell me what Rihanna is wearing? She literally looks like a duck.

I will say this though: there is something about Alicia Keys.

Now Tom Hanks of all people in on stage talking about the Beatles. Wait. Cirque d Soleil is ..... playing Beatle songs? What the F(*&? Some chick in a red dress s flying through the air. This is is utterly surreal, to say the least.

I might have to live blog this whole damn show.

Wait, now the woman in the red dress is lyiing on the ground and everyone is .... cheering??

Wait. Now Aretha Franklin (I think it's Aretha Franklin, anyway) singing Let It Be .... with Gospel Choir background. This show is the gift that keeps on giving. Ok, now the Cirque d' Soleil people just joined Aretha and the gospel choir .... and I think my head is going to explode.

BUT WAIT. "Now please welcome Cindy Lauper and Milie Cyrus/Hannah Montana. And I think my head is *really* going to explode

Ok, enough for now.......

(Just as I say that Amy Winehouse has just won an award for best new artist. But she can't be there -- because she couldn't get a visa! Only in LA.........)

UPDATE:

Ok I am back. This Daft Punk/Kanye West "Stronger" duo ruled!. That was very cool. But now Kanye is singing a song to his mother. Not quite as cool.

UPDATE II:

When did Tina Tuner turn 80? Seriously?

UPDATE III:

I am 96 percent certain I could sing Proud Mary better than Beyonce.

Tina just ended with this little kick thing that will likely live on in YouTube infamy.

Some lady just called Andy Williams "The orignal O.G." For those of you unfamiliar with Andy WIlliams, he is upwards of 90 years old. Trust me when I tell you he ain't no "O.G."

But wait, Amy WInehouse won again. But as you know, she can't be joining us tonight. "Cause she's in REHAB. The irony of this is beyond belief.

UPDATE IV:

The Foo Fighters are cool and all but don't you think that Dave Grohl's hair is slightly affected?

Update V: Ok, no more updates. I'm just going to live blog the rest of this damn thing. I've made it this far. So here we go....

Has a bigger stroke than Kanye West EVER walked the face of the planet? Sure, he's talented but good lord. He is the absolute definition of self absorbtion.

And oh yeah. Kid Rock rules.

I just had to say that.

Foo Fighter just won for best rock album. I actually like that album but I gotta say -- it wasn't anywhere NEAR album of the year.

Hell, it wasn't even top ten.

Stevie Wonder just took the stage. Eddie Murphy once had the best line ever about Stevie. He said" if Stevie really wants to impress me, he'll drive the car." Nothing like Eddie Murphy circa 1987. Stevie's the best though.

Ok, Alicia Keys time. SInging No One.

Wow. She rocked that. Say what you will but she is a major talent.

John Mayer and Alicia Keys? Somehow this is actually working for me.

Ringo Starr looks pretty good for an old dude. Hell of a lot better than Tine Turner, that's for sure.

VInce Gill just gave the speech of the night, namely because he dissed on Kanye.

(I wonder if my father is following any of this.)

Kanye, by the way, continues to wear these outrageously dumb white glasses. What a pretentious ass. I mention how I feel about him yet? Well, at least he was kind of enough to give Vinnie Chase a ride on his jet.

In my next life I think I want to come back as Jay Z (Derek Jeter or Justin Timberlake would be acceptable as well). Dude is straight up cool.

Amy WInehouse is performing live from London. Presumably after this she goes right back to rehab. Tell you one thing about her: she has the worst tattoos in the history of mankind. Literally.

Now she is singing Rehab, which I might add, is the most grating, annoying song in recording history.

Don't get me wrong. I think she is talented. I just freaking HATE that song. I am willing to bet you all agree with me.

Tony Bennett just took the stage. I think this is the octagerian Grammy's.

Amy Winehouse just won for song of the year. Man is this lady dazed and confused. Second best line of the night, "This is for my Blake. My Blake who is incarcerated." Classic!

The head of the academy is giving his annual speech that no one cafes about. What a waste of my time. Come on dude, it's 10:58 and I'm holding on by a thread here. Who cares who you "advocate" for?

People are actually cheering this dude like he is a political candidate. Weird.

Now they are going though the list of dead people. Included is a guy named "Pimp C". I kid you not.

At least they included reggae great Lucky Dube. RIP, LD.

Boceelii just sang with Josh Groban. Who is Josh Groban? He's got a hell of a voice.

Alright, it's 11:09 and I am zonked. Thing I am calling it.

Enjoy the rest of the show.