Yesterday I wrote about how I volunteered to coach both my kid's little league teams. 'Cause coaching one simply wouldn't be enough of an effort. But I digress.
Anyway, the subject got me to emailing with my father, who the truth be told, is indeed legendary in Paramus, NJ circles for his coaching exploits back in the late 70's and early 80's. Legendary for all the wrong reasons I might add, but legendary all the same. He was truly out of his mind back then; it's astonishing to me that me and my brothers came out quasi-normal, all things considered.
Anway, without further ado, following is his description of a true situation in his inimitable words which I haven't touched. That would be like trying to touch up a Michaelangelo.
It isn't exactly coaching related per se, but you'll get the point.
Another classic from the Gerry Solomon collection.
I got thrown out of so many sport venues that i became somewhat of a celebrity. Got thrown out of little league games, town sponsored basketball gams and even jewish center basketball league. The rabbi wanted me to convert . Anyway, the wife, a very quiet person was appalled at my behavioir and that of a couple of my cronies; one a doctor; another a partner in a major law firm,and a successful bond broker to name a few. She stopped attending any of the kids games or sat with the visiting teams fans. So one hot summer day we are dressed up and on our way to a wedding but first had to stop off at the local field to give #2 the keyes to the house. He was umpiring a very young girls softball game. The wife stayed in the a.c car while i stepped out to give the keys. Her last words were don,t get into any fights. How can i i said . the kid is not playing, problem was it was the beginning of the inning and i had to wait. The kid is on the mound with the pitcher calling balls and strikes. The batters at that age didn,t know the difference and swung at everything or nothing. One parent sitting on a beach chair right in front of me disagreed with every one of the umps calls and told his companion after every pitch that he was going to get the ump after the inning. With each of his threats my blood boiled (it is doing it now just thinking about it ) so i leaned over and smacked him on the top of his bald head. I threw the keys to the kid and jumped in the car and sped off with a flock of parents chasing me and the bewildered wife totally agast.
So howard don,t let your genetioc make-up control your destiny as a coach.
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192 comments:
hahaha! that was hilarious.
howard would need to gain a few pounds of muscle mass before pulling something like that. although he is a fast runner, so maybe not.
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